GREEN SLIME FOUND IN N. CAROLINA SEWER BAFFLES SCIENTISTS
by Superforce Improv Newsline
PRESS PLAY – THEN READ ON…
An inspection crew from a North Carolina construction company used a flexible snake cam periscope to move their way through the sewer line and capture video for an analysis. Little did they know, they would find more than they expected to see.
Our sources say a green moving slime has been found in the sewers of North Carolina and there is no trace to any earthly species on earth. Some have speculated that the green slime is a type of worm (like a tapeworm) which has managed to live outside of another being, as the types of worms they are referring to are parasite, and have to live off another creature.
As you see, this slime is attached to the walls and the floor of the pipeline, and not any other living being.
To conclude, this is yet another example of what happens when substances like steroids, bacteria, and human waste, are combined in the dark eerie sewers, and living, breathing blob is born. Anybody remember the part in the movie Ghostbusters 2 about the “living slime”.
Scene Frame from Ghostbusters 2.
There are similar beings like this created by mother nature, but none of this size, mass, and strength. Speculation on the identity of these masses has ranged from bryozoans to annelid worms and slime molds to space aliens.
The fact is that nobody really has been able to explain this anomaly and we can only conclude that the creature is alien and not of this world. Clearly, the moving and pulsing motions of the slime indicate it’s has a pulse, which is another clue that it may have a heart or central nervous system; and if it has a heart or a central nervous system, it can be killed.
No need to worry, everybody. Just ignore the over-sized giant pulsating slime creatures growing in sewers that can make their way up a pipe and into your bathroom…it’s perfectly fine!
—————————————————————————————————————————
JOHN EDWARDS, YOU SLY DOG, YOU!
via The Associated Breast
John Edwards Affair
John Edwards has been caught cheating once again, and as if that was not enough, a love child may be in the middle of all the new developing drama.
But no news is more shocking than the new controversy that TMZ has discovered, over the Superbowl Weekend.
Supposedly, reliable sources say JOHN EDWARDS is “in the news” in order to distract the public from the real issue beneath all the lies! According to TMZ, John Edwards ex-girlfriend was a hybrid human; a combination of a human and an extraterrestrial being. This was all part of all the huge experiments and massive amounts of data collected in the 60′s, and after Roswell.
A leaked secret document states-
The government classified project, code named (CLASSIFIED), was the offspring of the technological advances in human anatomy and geneology, leading to hybrid humans being created.
In hopes of eventually putting a government-created hybrid being in the White House, the government cleverly disguised one of Edward’s ex girlfriends as a passable human being.
As a result of Edward’s uncontrollable appetite to shove his ballot in as many voting boxes as possible, this is the secret behind The Edward’s Scandal:
A baby alien.
———————————————————————————————
JUST RELEASED!
—————————————————————————————–
(Unheard or little-known Michael Jackson Issue not exposed, but sad)
BREAKING NEWS!
MICHAEL JACKSON FOUND ALIVE!
August 30th, 2009
by Christopher McFinnigan
MICHAEL JACKSON SPOTTED on AUGUST 30th, 2009 IN EUROPEAN VILLAGE HOSPITAL!!
Front Page
Just in from the presses!!! 11:13PM EST
Our European affiliates across the pond from the UK have just reported the aparition of a man gone mad and taken to an insane asylum claiming he is the Real Michael Jackson, and no longer wishes to continue his Hoax of faking his own death, after seeing the pain and suffering it caused the world.
After last injections
THE ASSOCIOTED PRESS has received the latest from a confirmation of a sighting from a German affiliate station. Our friends in the UK state-
“Authorities were alerted after a relative of a patient was at the site on a scheduled visit to a suicidal patient (his nephew) and while being escorted out after a so-called “fire drill”, confirms seeing the one and only man himself, Michael Jackson, being also escorted, dragged in by “big men” in”soldier-like” uniform”, and placed on a stretcher taken to a special unit.
The anonymous man also reported to the AP affiliates that upon being escorted out, he over-heard some of the dialogue in exchange betweem Mr. Jackson, and the handlers. Here is an actual excerpt from the statement:
Michael- ”-why do you think the song says, ‘..but the kid is NOT my son?!’ Still, THEY are still MY world, MY children, but I can’t lie to ‘em no more. I will not continue to Lie, father! (panically screams for a minute)-
(Sobbing)
I am who I am. I am Michael Jackson, and that’s it…..a Jackson….a Jackson that can’t have kids and wants nothingmore in the world, than to have kids of my own!! You people don’t know why I can’t have kids or why I rather have people think I died like that-…(explicit utterances)”
Male Handler 1- ”We’re to help you, sir, as requested by yourself incase this should happen again; and we should really cease using your real name from this point on.”
Woman Handler -”Sir, please sign this. In order to execute what you have requested us to do in this document, you must sign it here now, so ‘they’ will not hear a word of this!” (Who did she mean by “they” when she referred to that?)
Michael- ”Sign! Sign, that’s all I ever did….Sign my name away! They did this to me! I just (explicit) them back!! The way they did to me! Sign, here’s my (explicit) name! There you go! Happy?!- Happy! HeeHee! Is that what you like?! Hee Hee! (In-Audible Screams and Yells)
At this point the Hospital staff escorting the Visitor out, and the Visitor, reach the turn of the hall way, where he could still hear all the screams and “heehees” clearly. By the time they reached the front, he also noticed an increasing presence of authority-like unmarked vehicles and limousines, rushing into the hospital, with what looked like their own “medical equipment”.
The witness claims to have heard an exchange of words between what seemed to be a newly self-admitted patient scraggling into the hospital, having some kind of breakdown. He then claims to being instructed to stay in one room until they reached a point where they can safely pass the newly arising situation.
On his way out of this unit below, the witness managed to snap photos along the way, some which came out pitch black.
He also recorded a poor minute-long video on the way out.
Here are the BREAKING NEWS PHOTOS, just in from the newsrooms!
on the way out of the special unit
The man the whole time managed to snap some pictures, although some not very clear, and some did not come out at all, here is what he sent to a German corresponder of the TV Station, in Germany, by email-
“On the way out through the main hallway where the incident was taken place, the witness managed to Video Record his walk path, unknowingly to the hospital staff, who were desperately trying to clear the incident area, and contain the man who was clearly having some kind of meltdown.”
Out of 42 frames of this instant, 41 frames were very blurry. This is the only frame in focus that was managed to be pulled from the Video Recording.
The insane patient was said to be Michael Jackson, or what the witness wrote in his statement- Quote: “He wasn’t saying he was Michael Jackson. He was saying he killed Michael Jackson a long time ago and assumed his identity; and that the real Michael Jackson is buried under the house at Neverland Ranch, and died in the 80′s.”
From what the Witness understands and reports, the patient was having a nervous breakdown because he couldn’t deal with the paranoia he was feeling as a result of the drugs he was taking, in order to keep himself calmed down throughout this whole ordeal.
Apparently, the pressure was too much, and he came out not only to confess he faked his own death, but that he is not even The Real Michael Jackson.
OUTSIDE PHOTOS
Outside of the hospital.
MORE PHOTOS
(photo by the Anonymous Visitor)
(These were some of the best picture he managed to snap, the human wall of authorities and people in suits that formed around the front entrance, and surrounding grounds of the Hospital, around sunset, on August 30th, 2009.)
(Driving away from the hospital.)
NEWS via AP
It has been speculated for a while that the real MJ passed away in the past.
they say the reason for the surgeries, was to slowly transition from the real Michael Jackson, into the impostor who assumed his identity. The surgeries were just cover ups, that slowly made it believable that these two people were the same people.
the impostor used “clinical procedures, to alter his own appearance, while giving the illusion that the real Michael Jackson was altering His appearance.
the fact that the new Michael looks nothing like the old Michael because the public believes the migration of his old face into a new face is due to the plastic surgeries, making it a perfectly believable plan.
some recent rumors say that the whole reason for such a tight seal around the DNA and mothers of the children is because DNA analysis were “unwelcomed”, claims a former MJ staff member.
“unwelcomed” = many things Mr. Jackson disapproved of, for one reason or another.
other reports I have heard through the grapevine shared by close sources say that the reason for all the wacky antics and side-show-like ambience around Michael Jackson was nothing but ‘smoke and mirrors” to cloud the real truth that at some unknown point- this person made his way into Michael’s Compound, and once he set foot in there, executed the plan of assuming Michael Jackson’s identity, slowly through time, totally immersing himself in this role.
the report of the asylum in germany- i confirmed it. there is a tight lid kept on it and the details.
what has leaked out however is plenty to assume nobody knows anything, really.
i am not surprised after assuming such a role and faking your own death, that the next place you would logically pop your head out would be out of an insane asylum.
-CN