WAX ON, F*CK OFF! Funniest Spoof This Year!

17 06 2010

Okay, if Ralph Macchio were to make the resurrection of the century, THIS IS DEFINITELY THE RIGHT WAY!!

This is one of the best thought of spoof with an actual great supporting plot that I have seen in a while.  I thought this kind of humour was something  rare and an unfortunately-forgotten grand art of ancient masters, the like of which nobody has been able to replicate (only diluted and watered-down imitators and second comers), and OUT COME MACCHI with The Steal!!!

WOW – If this were rated by gold stars, this small yet much needed kind of production would get a GALAXY.

Really awesome subtleness and fantastic ability to ‘go there’ and really give it a good ‘ol mock.  If you want to have a go at what it feels like to pee a little in your pants while tears build up in your eye sockets watching the return of Ralph Macchio to SOMETHING, this is the place to be- give the PLAY BUTTON a push and bed pan is highly recommended. ( OKAY SO WE COULDN’T EMBED IT HERE [FUNNYorDIE] YOU GUYS REALLY HAVE TO PUT IT ON YOUTUBE ALREADY OR SOMETHING, the Embed code didn’t work here on WordPress for us Little guys.)

But that’s okay because this is the link just click on it!  Wax On, F*ck Off with Ralph Macchio

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NEW KARATE KID Movie – DVD Remake

22 03 2010

Ralph Macchio stopped by Joy Behar’s Show on HLN this weekend and confirmed one of my worst fears yet-  Will Smith is re-doing The Karate Kid.  It’s true.  The Mayans were right..it looks like the end is coming after all.

My first reaction: WHAT?!  Are you friggin’ serious?  Where do you get off taking a legendary film, after Mr. Miyagi has passed away, and after Daniel San has a 14 year old son in real life and will not star in this one.  I’m sure it’ll be fascinating to watch, cinematic-wise, but, that’s because when you have billions of dollars to blow on your son by giving him a HUGE PRODUCTION, the film at least “looks” good.  Doesn’t mean it’ll actually BE GOOD.

That’s right, Ralph Macchio will not have any part in the new film and will not be a part of it, although him and Will Smith are actually good friends.  According to Macchio, Mr. MIB himself, who is producing this production for his son to play the leading role, called Ralph Macchio to let him know his intentions. (The Real Karate Kid)

On Joy Behar,  Macchio’s own words were, “Will called me and said, ‘I know I’m touching your baby, but I want your blessing.”  Apparently Macchio backs Smith’s plans, and responded with this, when Joy Behar asked him if he would star in it-

“I’m not going to be in it.  I wouldn’t want to touch the legacy that is behind this films that came out in the beginning.  I want to just leave that story and legacy (Daniel LaRusso and Mr. Miyagi) how it is.”

Words with meaning between the lines, perhaps?  I think Ralph is indirectly saying, “Will, stay the hell away from my baby.”  I think Macchio is just being polite, and Smith is being an ego-centric pig.

The reason the movie is being made is not even because of it’s legacy-  it’s literally a gift Will Smith wants to give his son!

Here’s my beef.  Does the word really need another Karate Kid?  Half the movie’s charm was found within Mr. Miyagi and his ways, and he’s no longer alive.  Without Miagi, it’s just another Rumble in The Bronx.  How about the fact that Will Smith is doing this “for his son”?  Gee, I wish I can give my son one of the greatest films for boy’s ever made and one of the fondest memories of movies from childhood, and put it in a box and give it to my son.

The Pursuit of Happiness starred Will’s little boy, and many other films.  Must be nice being privileged.  However, who cares about you and your family bond?   First Jada Pinkett tries to become a wanna be rocker singer and her and Will think they own the world.  Now it’s Will and his boy; yippee!  Just look how cheery they look in that picture above; it’s disgusting. Seriously, just put down the film legacies, and drop the egos for a second, so we can clear all this up and make it better.

Looks like The Church of Scientology has created yet another fine specimen of the human ego’s crap when it mixes with a lot of riches and could do anything they want.  NOBODY WILL GO SEE YOU NEW STUPID KARATE KID MOVIE, WILL!  Especially when you call Macchio to ask for his blessing as if him not giving you the blessing would have stopped you, you big ego’d hound.

Leave childhood movies alone!  They are not gifts to give your son and have him star in for your own personal egotistical satisfaction.  You’re becoming borderline Michael Jackson-ish in your splurging.  You’re worst than Beauty Pageant mothers pushing their 4 year old daughters on stage to look like 30 year old models.

Will Smith is worse than the mother's that put their kids through this.

The only thing that will be anything like the original Karate Kid with this project is that Will Smith’s son will really be picked on and bullied (hopefully) for taking part in this massacre of a film legacy.  Some people believe Godfather 3 was an abomination.  This will make G3 look like the Easter Bunny!

You thought The Next Karate Kid was bad?  At least that one still had Pat Morita(Mr.Miyagi) starring in it?

What’s this one going to be like?  The Fresh Karate Kid of Belle Aire?  This is worse than Lucas and Spielberg going back and pulling out their old films and “touching them up” instead of leaving them like they were- BUT WORSE…WAY WORSE.

SINCE we’re on the subject of Will Smith-  Welcome To Miami should be pulled from the records of history and burned into non-existent.  Is there anything that you have seen that you do not want to put your name on, Will?  Is nothing sacred, or are we still living in your Big Willy Getting Jiggy With It All-About-You-World?

COME NOW, we do Kata!

We highly recommend you check out the inspiring story of Young Monique Sciberras in the style and fashion of the old Karate Kid movie and teachings.